We are the least part of the funeral. It doesn't mean we are not important. It means that if he think we can go, we go. If we don't have to be there, then we are out of this.
She is important to us. However, we are her students, neither her family nor her friends. A funeral can be big or small. It depends on who they decide to invite and the money. He has to communicate with her family, also known as his family-in-law, about the culture- and religion-related things. She is catholic. Besides, her family just went back Brazil. It's still open whether they would come to Germany again. He has to wait their decision, although I guess he is the one who pay for everything.
I used to be there like you guys. I used to be urgent to know the situation. One day I realized I should trust in him. If something we should know, he will tell us just like he sent us the e-mail informed she left us. He knows where the exact position we are in their life. We should not cross the line, especially now. He has lived here for a long time. He has his family, friends and social network here. He knows where he can stay, whom he can talk to when he needs the company. Trust me, that is not the area where we belong.
Let me make it clear. The reason why they are very important, non-replaceable to us is that we don't have a strong social network here. Yet, they do. Their importance to us is bigger than our importance to them. It's unequal. We are important to them in a way. Nevertheless, we are not the crucial people in this last thing, her funeral. So find a way to comfort yourself. It's easy to think we are strong enough to help him instead of we ourselves are weak and have to face our inside feeling.
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